18 Aug 2010 Prayer Please
 |  Category: family

Baby Boy Schmoyer is due in 6 weeks. I can’t remember the last time I’ve ever been so stressed. Maybe when I was pregnant with Hannah and I had anxiety about becoming a mom. But I was also super excited and not totally stressed out. This time I really haven’t had time to think about being a mom of 2, we’ve had plenty other events going on that are keeping me stressed and my mind off of how life is going to be after this baby is born.

But with that stress I fear that I am going to hurt the health of Baby Boy, and that makes me feel even worst. Today I wasn’t hungry at all for dinner with so much worry on my mind. I know the baby needs nourishment, but I just don’t feel like eating when I’m truly upset. I have luckily slept really well the last 2 nights, which I’ve needed ’cause I haven’t been able to nap well, which I also need. I actually went a full 5 hours last night with uninterrupted sleep with either getting uncomfortable and tossing and turning, or needing to tend to my full bladder. I was surprised to notice I hadn’t moved since I laid down. I still woke up with a headache from lack of sleep and everything else. I just need to relax.

On top of worrying about how Baby Boy is developing with my emotional state not stable right now, I have been hard on myself with parenting Hannah. She is luckily such a good baby, and loves to sleep well into the morning, but I feel bad starting our mornings around 9 ’cause I need the rest, and mornings are just slow around here right now at the end of this pregnancy. I’ve also found myself to be a huge softy when Hannah gets upset. I don’t want her to be upset while I’m struggling with stuff, so she has been getting away with way more than she normally would if I was feeling up to par.

I’ve tried to hold strong for Tim so he doesn’t have me to uphold also as he gets things ready for youth group small groups to kick off in the fall. He has a lot on his plate, I don’t want to be an added item. I do have to say that I am very blessed to be his wife. He is so good at comforting and uplifting me during this wacky pregnancy hormone driven, stress induced time.

My dad has been a huge help the last couple weeks with things too. It’s nice to have him to talk to. And spending time reading my Bible has helped a lot also. I keep my Bible in plain site so I see it several times a day to make sure I spend some time reading. Honestly though, the last few days it’s been more of a discipline to read. I don’t feel like picking it up and reading, but am glad I did when I’m through.

Please keep me, Tim, Hannah and Baby Boy in your prayers. I’m really hoping things will calm down and I’ll be able to relax sometime soon through the rest of this pregnancy. Baby Boy is feeling really big and isn’t so comfortable when he moves, and I have over a month left. I can’t stop thinking how much better things would be with this pregnancy if all this stress would just go away.

A line that I wrote in our follow-up letter after our Mexico missions trip keeps on coming back to me in all of this. I wrote it talking about a totally different subject, but God keeps on reminding me that it applies to life right now …

“It’s so awesome to see God’s hand in everything, knowing what will happen before we even have a thought.”

I don’t know what the outcome is going to be, and that’s okay. I’m very glad that God is God, and not me. And knowing that God is in control and not me is way more reassuring than if I was supposed to be the one in control.

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3 Responses

  1. I’m so sorry you are struggling so much! I can’t imagine the stress of having a toddler and one on the way. You will be in my prayers!

  2. 2
    Danny Wayman 

    Proud of you and your faith in God. We continue to pray for you. I used to think children were given to us to teach us to pray, have found out now, that is what happens when God gives you grand-children. Love you all.

  3. Candi – Thank you so much for your prayers! I can’t wait to find out what you’re having. I’m so excited for you!

    Dad – Thank you for the prayers. I’m sure I’ll find that out one day too, but right now having kids is teaching us. 🙂