I’m kinda frazzled right now. I think it’s a mix between pregnancy hormones and not getting a very good sleep last night. Hannah has been waking up a few times at 2am in the last week and eating about 12oz of her bottle before going back to bed. I didn’t realize how worn out I’ve been until these nights when Tim will get up with Hannah and sometimes I don’t even notice that she has been screaming at the top of her lungs, or not notice until Tim is already settling her down. Last night I got up in a hurry when I finally heard Hannah, and Tim was already down stairs in the kitchen getting her a bottle.

So this morning I’ve been reading a couple books trying to figure out why Hannah is getting up at 2am, and she’s just hungry. We need to increase the amount of food she is eating during the day. And I’m nervous about this. I haven’t cooked much since Hannah was born, it’s been almost 10 months and I just haven’t gotten back into my old routine. I’ve been reluctant to start ’cause our kitchen gets messed up enough as is without me cooking a nice meal every day, which I totally miss, but am kind of scared to start up again. I know I’d be proud of myself to get my act together and cook and let Hannah eat what we’re eating, ’cause she needs to. She is old enough to be done with pureed food, and I’m just too chicken to quit giving it to her. But yesterday at dinner was a total mess with her spitting almost every bite of her pureed veggies out, after doing so well with lunch, which was all finger foods. She’s ready to move on. I’m not.

On a very happy and exciting note….

Hannah started crawling! Sunday night after I got off the phone with my mom Hannah really wanted my cell phone, enough to actually army crawl to it for the first time. I called Tim in and we watched for a little bit, then got the camera out to capture her great achievement.  Also, Yesterday morning Tim and I got to feel Baby Boy move for the first time with our hands! Last doctor’s visit we found out that my placenta is on the top, which is why I hadn’t been able to feel him move yet, except for internally. I’ve been kinda bummed about not being able to feel him with my hand, and not be able to share the excitement. So that was a perfect way to start our day off.

Yesterday was our last night of Sr. High Impact for the school year. Our summer ministry takes on a different look, taking advantage of a new schedule for students, and allowing families to have more time together.

Tim challenged us to take advantage of the summer. There is no more school every day for our students on top of work and sports, or music. The summer is a season of extra time that we can devote to God and grow in our spiritual walk. We talked about spiritual food, and where we should be in our walk.

Hebrews 5:11-14 explains clearly that if you have been a believer for a number of years that you should be teaching others instead of being taught. But there are so many people that have not moved past the baby stage of needing someone else to feed them. If you are depending on someone to preach to you on Sundays, and teach you at a Bible Study, but are not digging into God’s Word on your own, and teaching others what God is teaching you, you are still stuck on milk and cannot handle solid food (vs 12).

Solid food is for those who are mature, who through training have the skill to recognize the difference between right and wrong. Hebrews 5:14

Are you training yourself? If you’ve ever exercised, played a sport, dieted, played a musical instrument, gone to school to one day have a career, you know that it takes training and discipline. It’s the same with your spiritual walk with Christ. It’s more than just believing and making the choice to follow Christ. You must train yourself. Dig into God’s Word on your own. Don’t just read over the words, but really dig in and find the meaning and listen to what God is teaching you in your own life through scripture. The study Bible I have has probably twice as much explanation for each scripture I read, and I really like how it helps me to understand more and open my eyes to a meaning I may have missed.

So what is holding you back? Are there distractions? Are you afraid you’ll loose some friends if you decide to follow Christ whole heartedly and truly seek Him? Your rewards for following Christ instead of man are so much more worth it. This world is temporary, but eternal life with God is forever. How about your hobbies or even what you do when you’re bored, do those things stand in your way of spending time with God? Tim and I got rid of tv in our home, partly to save money, but mostly because it was a huge distraction for me. It was so much easier for me to sit infront of the tv to rest than for me to pick up my Bible and read and study God’s Word. Which, when you start to study and get closer to God, there is nothing else that can give you rest and fulfillment like God.

Even though we don’t have tv, I still have temptations to do other things besides spend time studying scripture. Today when Hannah went down for a nap I finally got around to doing a work-out video, and then wanted to just play a game on the xbox, but felt God telling me to go grab my Bible and take advantage of this quiet time in our house. I wanted so badly to put it off, and thought to myself, “Oh, I’ll have time later.” But listening to God and knowing better was much better than playing a mindless game. The verse that stuck out to me the most today in Matthew 12 is verse 30, “Anyone who isn’t with me opposes me, and anyone who isn’t working with me is actually working against me.” That really got me thinking. Am I actively working with Christ? If I chose to ignore God telling me to spend time in His Word, who was I working with? The extra study at the bottom explains this verse more: It is impossible to be neutral about Christ. Anyone who is not actively following him has chosen to reject him. Any person who tries to remain neutral in the struggle of good against evil is choosing to be separated from God, who alone is good. To refuse to follow Christ is to choose to be on Satan’s team.

Today has been such a fun day! First Hannah had her 9 month check-up. She is in the 84th percentile on height, measuring in at 28.75 inches, 57th percentile for weight at 19lbs 6oz, and 89th percentile with head circumference at 18 inches. The doctor said she looks completely healthy and is on track developmentally. Yay for Hannah!

And then half an hour later we got to go see Hannah’s little brother! I even wore blue ’cause I had a hunch God is giving us a boy this time. I had no clue with Hannah, which made it easier with keeping her a surprise. Baby boy was very active for us on the ultrasound moving around like crazy while the tech tried to measure everything. And then when she was going to let us have fun looking at him he decided to take a nap and wouldn’t move no matter which way I laid. So far it sounds like we’ll have another good baby like Hannah. Our doctor said that my placenta is on the top, so that would explain why I’ve had a hard time feeling Baby Boy move with my hand. He is an active baby, and I enjoy the movements I can feel internally, but it’s so fun to share the movement.

I am super excited that we’re having a boy! I wanted a girl first ’cause I was a little nervous about trying to raise a boy first, and felt comfortable with a girl since I kinda had practice with having Katelin as my little “real life doll” growing up. I’m still a little nervous, but am excited about all the fun a boy will bring to our little family. Now I just want to spend the rest of the evening getting things ready for Baby Boy! Only 20 more weeks!

I was reading through Matthew 7 today and one of the verses that stuck out to me is verse 21, “Not everyone who calls out to me, ‘Lord! Lord!’ will enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Only those who actually do the will of my Father in heaven will enter.”

I have a Life Application study Bible for my quiet time, and the further study for verse 21 is very eye opening. Here’s what it says:

Not everyone who talks about heaven belongs to God’s Kingdom. Jesus is more concerned about our walk than our talk. He wants us to do right, not just say the right words. What you do cannot be separated from what you believe. Jesus exposed those people who sounded religious but had no personal relationship with him. On “judgment day” only our relationship with Christ–our acceptance of him as Savior and our obedience to him–will matter. Many people think that if they are “good” people and say religious things, they will be rewarded with eternal life. In reality, faith in Christ is what will count at the judgment.

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This really sticks out to me with working with the youth in our church. So many people are raised up in the church, and are great at going through the motions of being a Christian. Go to Sunday School and Service on Sunday morning, and maybe go to some type of Bible Study on Wednesdays, maybe even play or sing in a praise band if you’re in to music, and then go home and live a totally different life. We are all guilty of this at times when we get into the routine and life is going well, we tend to slack off on our personal relationship with Christ and can loose focus. I also have to be careful that the life I live is not to only set an example to others, but I live in obedience to Christ because I love Him and want to worship Him. It’s not a one-time choice to live for Christ, it is a choice we make every day, and sometimes several times a day.

What gets me the most with this is us just having Confirmation Sunday a couple weeks ago. It is a very exciting time to hear our youth’s testimonies of what God is doing in their life. Honestly though, it was hard to not sit there and wonder which ones were being sincere and honest in their testimony, and wonder which ones were up there saying what they were “supposed” to say. And it saddens my heart to hear friends of confirmands report about ones that are so excited to be “done with church.” Our teens moving from junior high into high school is one of the highest drop out grades with involvement in church. And I’m sad to say, it’s not just their fault. What are the parents doing to live out their faith? There is a mind frame that once a student is done with confirmation, they’re done with church, or their faith. And with that mind frame, where is their faith? Were the past few years just words?

Jesus is very clear when he said, “Not everyone who calls out to me, ‘Lord, Lord!’ will enter the Kingdom of Heaven.” You may know the right things to say at church, but so what. What are you living out? Parents, have you taught your children that it’s okay to go to church and be one person, then leave and be another? Or are you living your faith out and being a righteous example to your kids? It’s good for your kids to know that even you struggle in your walk with Christ. We all do. And it’s healthy to be real with your kids. But don’t set the example of a “Sunday Christian.” If you want help with that, ask. We’re not here to judge, we’re here to help. We all have to look at our lives and constantly reevaluate where we are in our faith. What is the next step to take to become more Christlike?

And even if you don’t have kids in your home yet or anymore, what example do you show to others that you come in contact with throughout the week? Are you living a righteous life, asking God to lead your steps? I struggle with this when I want to make a quick trip to the store and am not willing to take time to notice someone God may want me to reach out to. What good am I then? That makes me just as useless as the person we came across last week at the mall who said, “I believe in God and Christ, but I don’t believe we are supposed to go and share with others.” I should give my every moment outside of my house to God as an opportunity to share Christ with someone.

Take some time with God and listen. What does He want for you? What is the next step He wants for you to become more Christlike?

This pregnancy has not been nearly as fun as my last one. A couple days ago my back started hurting, and today it feels even worst. Tim is gone today and tomorrow in Kansas City and then hopefully going to try to see his littlest sister before heading home. I have our next baby check-up on the 17th, so I’m wanting to hold off until then to see how I do, but I’m getting really nervous. Every time I pick Hannah up I really feel the pain, and it doesn’t seem to go away. Even just leaning over the tub this morning to bathe Hannah was a struggle. It’s times like these when I wish we lived closer to family. I hate feeling helpless, so I push myself, but then I don’t want to injure myself. Please be praying for me through this. We have a YMCA opening next month, which I would love to get a family membership for, but it’s still a little pricy to add to a monthly bill even though we just canceled our tv and home phones, hoping to free up some money for the Y. It might still be a good investment anyways so I can spend some time in the pool to get some weight off and work out on some light weight machines to strengthen my back.

It’s crazy ’cause I had no problems at all while in Haiti. Everyone watched out for me, which was nice and I felt very undeserving of it. But I slept great and never got ill or felt bad. My biggest prayer is that I can get my body working well so I can be well when our Mexico mission trip gets here in July. I wasn’t pushing for Hannah to learn how to crawl until my back started hurting. It’d be awesome if she could get herself around the house for me. So now for mother’s day I would like a break from picking up Hannah so I can rest my back after this weekend. Hopefully that’ll be easy enough to get.

On a good note, Baby Schmoyer has been very active lately. It’s fun to feel him/her move around. I can’t wait to be able to watch my belly move and be able to feel the movements on the outside, so Tim and Hannah can feel it too.

Tim wrote a great blog last night about the 200 year pact that Haiti made with the devil if he would free them from the French. Instead of restating what he has already clearly written, I’ll let you go over and read it.

Also, a little disclaimer before you read my words… I’m still struggling with what God is teaching me through Haiti. And I started studying the book of Matthew since coming back from Haiti, which was written to the Jews, the “righteous people” of their day who should know better than those who had not heard the Word of God. These are some of my raw thoughts.

Experiencing Haiti was life changing. We learned a lot from our translators about the history of Haiti and what God is doing since the earthquake. One of our translators even told us his personal testimony and how his own family paid a Voodoo priest to cast an evil spirit on him to stop him from preaching the gospel. Fortunately, if the Holy Spirit is living in you, then an evil spirit cannot live in you.

It is so clear to see how God has taken Haiti into his own hands now that the 200 year pact with the devil is broken. People are turning to Christ, even lots of the Voodoo priests. During our last day of ministry our translator asked me to pray with a lady who was holding her 7 month old daughter in the main tent city we visited. Before praying with her I asked if she knew who Christ is and she said no. I asked her if she would like to learn about him and she said yes. And after I shared with her about who Christ is she wanted to accept Him as her personal Savior. I couldn’t believe how open she was to accepting Christ. That night back at the compound I was thinking about how many people back home need to be convinced that they need Christ. I have come across so many people that want a reason why they should believe and want to know what they can get out of it before committing their life to Christ. But those that we came across in Haiti hear the name of Jesus and know that they need Him as their personal Savior.

This past Sunday night at youth group most of our team shared our God stories with the Sr. High students. Afterwards me and two of our youth girls that went to Haiti decided to get together Monday afternoon and go talk to people in our town about Christ and pray for people like we did in Haiti. We met at the church on Monday and prayed about where to go. We ended up walking around the mall and pretty much got shot down. The biggest disappointment was talking to someone who said they believe in Christ but believe that people should not go around talking to others about Him. Are you kidding me? Yes we live in a small “Christian” community, but what Christ follower ignores Christ’s words, “Go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.” (Matthew 28:19) That isn’t a suggestion that Christ gives us, that’s a command for Christ followers. One of the girls asked this lady how people are supposed to know God if no one tells them, and her response was, “If God wants them to know, He will let them know.” What good are we if we don’t live out our faith in Christ and just sit around not living a life reflecting the ministry that Christ modeled for us? Thank God that Christ didn’t sit around saying, “Well, if God wants to save people from hell, he can do it without me.”

After this disappointing encounter we met a sweet elderly man and lady to talk to. The conversations didn’t go too deep, but it was nice to converse with someone who didn’t shoot us down for wanting to talk to people, and they were open to talk a little about faith, even if their short term memory was short. We found out that the man we talked to goes to a local ELCA church and he brought up the struggles the church is going through since approving homosexuality, saying that he just kind of looks the other way and ignores whats going on, saying that whether it’s right or wrong, homosexuals shouldn’t be teaching in the church. I went a little deeper saying, it is a sin, but we all sin, but what makes the situation really sad is that a church is willing to say that a certain sin is okay.

The people of Haiti know what is of the devil and what is of Christ. I think part of the reason I really want to go back to Haiti is because the people know this. Coming back home I am brought to tears seeing how blinded people are by Satan. Just looking at public television and how movie ratings allow more and more garbage in saying things are okay, people start to assume that is normal, and we should accept it. “People just struggle with sin, it’s okay, we need to accept it.” But who are these ideas coming from? Coarse language, sexual immorality, idolatry, loving money, and so many more things to add to that list do not glorify Christ. If it does not glorify Christ who do you think is cheering when we fall into those traps? It’s not Christ, it breaks Christ’s heart. People, Satan is real. And if we can’t stand up for Christ and preach the truth, Satan will continue to rule and trick people. No, we don’t see people practicing Voodooism regularly like some are still doing in Haiti, but if you’re not worshiping Christ with every part of your life, then Satan has still accomplished in you what he desires.

Haiti didn’t need me.

We’re all back. The moment I stepped on to the walk way in to the Miami airport I wanted to turn around and get back on the plane. Walking up to customs I wanted to stick with the Haitians that were going to the States instead of having to split and go with the locals.

I’m still trying to process the whole trip. Sunday night was wonderful to tell stories, along with most of our team that went to Haiti, to our Sr. High students about how amazing God was during the week.

Tons of people were concerned about me going to Haiti ’cause I’m pregnant, and more than anything I’ve had people coming and asking how I’m doing. So to put that question to rest, I’m fine. I never got sick, neither did anyone on our trip. The heat was okay, I slept great. There was always plenty of food. I had no problem adjusting to the food in Haiti, and have actually had trouble adjusting back to American food. Tonight for dinner I made rice and beans, a staple we had, along with goat. Yumm!

I think I’m experiencing more of a culture shock coming back to the States than I did going in to Haiti. I love having my family back together. It’s wonderful to hug and laugh with Hannah. I really wish I was back in Haiti though. God did amazing things in me during the trip to Haiti. He stretched me and is still molding me from the week. I loved getting to know our translators personally and hear them tell us what all God is doing in Haiti. I’ll have to leave those stories for later. I really am frustrated with being back, and I have a feeling it’ll take me a while to adjust. My prayer right now is that God will break my heart for Americans. You can see God moving in Haiti. Haitians are open and ready to accept Christ. Of what I’ve seen even today while out at the mall, it’s not the same here.

I apologize for not jumping right in to what I’ve learned and experienced. I still need some time. But, I did want to let people know that we’re home.