Pretty much all that’s on our minds now days is the baby. We’re one week from the due date, and patience is starting to wear off. I have done great for the last 9 months with being patient about Baby Schmoyer’s arrival. This is the first thing that I have ever been patient about, and that has been a struggle the last 2 weeks. About 2 weeks ago almost everyone I came in contact with started saying, “Any day now!” And I know/knew that they were wrong, that it wouldn’t be “any day now,” that God isn’t done growing and strengthening Baby Schmoyer before s/he is suppose to come and join us. I am still patient with the baby waiting until the birthday God has planned, my patience with people is almost gone though. It really bothered me when one of the ladies at the doctor’s office that we make appointments with even told me, “Any day now!” And I was really turned off because they see pregnant women all the time and know that there is no for sure way of predicting what day any baby will be born. It just really bothered me that she even said it, I expected anyone in the doctor’s office to be the last one to say such a thing. I have been trying really hard to stay patient with everyone’s comments not making me eager to see our little one. I am excited for the day to come, but know that God has his timing all planned out, and I figure come Monday, it’s going to get a lot harder to be patient.

I have gotten the question asking if our doctor has said anything of when she thinks the baby will be born. I’m okay with that question, and my reply every time is no, she knows better than to play with the due date. She just had her first birth about 12 weeks ago, so this whole experience is very much still in her mind and knows not to play with mine.

Since we have started going to the doctor weekly I have been very happy to hear every visit how me and baby are progressing week to week. It makes me very happy to know that my body has less work to do than some people once labor starts happening. I did find out 2 weeks ago that I have been having contractions. All along I just thought it was Baby Schmoyer curling up until it happened during one of our doctor’s appointments, and we were told, “Nope, that’s a contraction.” So I have been very aware of the many contractions I’ve been having the past 2 weeks. Of what I can tell they’re not regular, so we haven’t timed them. I rarely notice when I’m having one anyways, I usually just get a tight feeling in my chest and am more aware of my breathing.

Yesterday I accidently tricked Tim into thinking I was going into labor. I stubbed my toes on our bathroom heater and did a little yell, of which he came running in to check on me, which I thought was very sweet. Until he found out that I hurt my toe, and in his dissapointment turned to leave me in my pain. He did stop and comfort me though, and bent down to check out my toe since that’s a little hard for me.  It didn’t even occur to me that he would’ve thought it was the baby coming, I guess we’ll find out soon enough as to how the whole thing will go down.

Three years ago today Tim and I made a commitment in front of family, friends and God to love and cheerish each other forever. It’s hard to believe that we’ve been married for 3 years. God worked miracles pulling everything together for our wedding, that I am so grateful for and know that God has had our lives planned out from the beginning. Next year’s anniversary will be different with having a little one around. Baby Schmoyer feels like s/he is practically here with all the movement I feel, but it was nice not having to get a baby sitter last night when we went out to celebrate. Tim took me out to dinner at the resort here in town. The food was delicious, service was bad, and getting to spend time with my husband who willingly dressed up for me made me feel very special.

Tim, I love you so much and am very blessed to have you as my husband. I can’t wait for our baby to get here and see you interact with him/her. You are going to make such a great father, and I know that because of how great of a husband you are. I love you!

Here’s mine and Tim’s journey of getting engaged ’til our wedding….only 3 months to prep!

I’m Engaged!

Clueless

I found my dress!

Updates

Keep the prayers coming. They’re working!

Back Home

Bridesmaid Dresses

Flowers!

Mmmmm Cake!

Engagement Pictures

Wedding Registries

Update

I love Tim!

Yay! I did something productive today!

I’m getting married this week!

Busy, busy, busy!

Wedding Drama (sorta)

I’m married!

This week was great with VBS. Our children’s director knew the perfect job for me, helping out with the pre-school crafts. VBS started at 9am, and I didn’t have kids ’til 10:45 and our 2 groups coming through were done at 11:45.

Monday was a little crazy with not knowing how many kids would officially be there until everything started on Monday with late registration of kids. We were prepared with supplies to be split up between 2 rooms, and had to split everything between 3 once all the kids were in there. That was hectic and had me leaving stressed and my back was killing me from bending over so much to reach down to the little tables to hand out supplies, and then cleaning up afterwards didn’t help my back at all.

Tuesday-Thursday were great. I took care of my back more and everything was organized and went smoothly. We also had lots more volunteers around which helped with the 5 minute transition between the 2 groups. We had to clean up after the first group and set up for the second in such a short time, but we did it!

Today was stressful again for me. Not because of VBS, but because of my lack of sleep, and having an emotional day the day before. Thursday was busy with me staying later at the church, then I was able to soak in the tub for a little bit, and tried to fit a nap in to my day before we had junior highers over for Bible study. I really needed a longer nap, but I knew soaking in the tub came first. I’m thinking that is a daily ritual I will need throughout the rest of my pregnancy to help save my back. So needless to say, I was not in the best mood today and felt like I was rude to everyone I came in contact with. I was able to take a nap today which helped, and I’m already looking forward to sleep tonight, and getting to wake up on my own time in the morning.

Overall I think VBS was a success. Tim made a great video of the week, and it was fun to see everyone for the week.

Matthew 18:21-22 “Then Peter came to him and asked, ‘Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?’* ‘No, not seven times,’ Jesus replied, ‘but seventy times seven!’”

“When a memory or flashback intrudes on your day, examine it and consider this: Have I already forgiven this person and released this event? Or have I buried the hurt and anger, and am I still being ruled by what is buried?”(pg. 86)

I have heard Matthew 18:21-22 many many times with growing up in a Christian home going to church every Sunday. It’s kinda one of those verses that if you grow up in church and hear so many times you just think, “yeah, yeah, I’ve heard that” but don’t seek to understand the verse.

More times than others when a memory has come back to me I am pretty sure I’m guilty of burying the hurt and anger instead of already forgiving the person. Before I started to read “Free Yourself to Love” by Jackie Kendall I would say I forgive the person, I would ask God to forgive them, but I would still hold onto the offense. So did I truly forgive the person when I asked God to forgive them? I was always unsure.

Jackie Kendall goes into a great explanation about forgiveness and when memories come back about an offense. Just because we forgive someone doesn’t mean that we will forget about what happened. Every time the memory or flashback comes to mind it is another opportunity for us to forgive again, and sometimes again and again. Chapter 5 called, “Held Hostage by Assaulting Memories,” is my favorite chapter so far in this book teaching on these verses in Matthew. Jesus isn’t saying that we even only forgive one certain person 490 times, we are to go even further than that and forgive each offense that many times, and sometimes more!

My selfishness wants to place a limit on others. I want to give them only so many chances with me before I give up on them and block them out of my life. Jackie pointed out that even the best husband in the world will need to be forgiven over and over, and that as a wife I will too. As long as you are human and interacting with other humans there will be disappointments, misunderstandings, hurts and so on. We need to forgive and continue to forgive. There is only one we can have a relationship with who will never disappoint us or hurt us, and that is with Jesus Christ. Christ is always there for us and always ready to forgive.

I don’t notice how much my belly grows any more until I have Tim take pictures. I just know that it’s big and I can’t really imagine it getting bigger, and then was shocked when I saw how much Baby Schmoyer expanded my belly from the time we took a picture before. I finally remembered to put all the pictures of the time leading up to Baby Schmoyer’s delivery in our online Picasa web album. So if you click on the link for Photos towards the top of my blog you’ll get to see pictures of my expanding belly so far. You’ll also see our ultra sounds and a few other things that I’m either making or gifts we got for Baby Schmoyer.

We had our first doctor’s appointment with my new doctor last Friday. It almost got bumped ’til today, because she was delivering twins in the morning, but they were able to squeeze us in that afternoon instead. We didn’t spend a whole lot of time with her ’cause it was her first week back after having her first birth, she had twin girls! I didn’t want to keep her too long ’cause I’m sure she was ready to be done in the office for the week and I wanted to respect her time. Our next appointment is Thursday. It’s crazy knowing that we’ll be going to the doctor every week from here on out. Baby Schmoyer is coming very soon! Please pray for me with that. I am very anxious about it, getting more scared than excited each day. Tim has been a great support through this time, as well as several women in the church I have talked to in the last 2 days. I’m glad VBS is this week to keep me busy and my mind on other things than only Baby.

Our Senior High students and leaders left this morning for a long haul down to Knoxville, TN for our denomination’s large week long youth conference they have every 3 years. Tim and I missed it 3 years ago because the only day that would work for our wedding was the day after CHIC, or wait a year to get married, which wouldn’t have allowed God to bring us up to Minnesota when he did.

This year we’re missing it because Baby Schmoyer’s due date is 3 weeks and 6 days from today. It kind of scares me to know that it’s coming up so soon. It wouldn’t have been good for me to do a 24 hour bus ride down to TN, and then another 24 hour bus ride back up to MN when I’ll be 2 weeks and 6 days away from the due date. If Tim went leaving me home alone all week I wouldn’t do so well emotionally. I had a hard enough time on Sunday when Tim had the Junior High canoe trip all day, leaving me at home for the day, and he was only a couple hours away. After getting my first and only (hopefully) leg cramp 3 weeks ago I do not want to be left alone in case that happens to me again. We also wanted to be cautious in case Baby Schmoyer decides to make his/her arrival this week. Hopefully that wont happen, but there is no way to tell exactly when a baby will come.

When we first found out we were pregnant we figured Tim could go to Tennessee with no problem, but were advised by our Sr. Pastor and his wife that it would be best if he stayed behind to help take care of me. I am very grateful for that wisdom, although I feel bad about Tim missing out on CHIC again. We’ve had a lot of people support us in staying behind, now all we can do is pray for all the students and leaders. Our new doctor we met yesterday said it was very smart for neither of us to go on the trip too. That was reassuring that she was very serious when saying it wouldn’t have been a good idea.

I am praying that all the students and leaders will learn lots, bond well and have great unity throughout the week. Also that God will move in each of their lives, and that the students wont let this week just be a high, but that it will be life changing week and that they will apply what they learn and experience and carry it with them the rest of their lives.

Jackie Kendall’s words are very powerful and convicting. It is easy to read something and think, “Oh, so-and-so should hear this, they really need to work on this!” And then we miss out on what God is trying to show us. I feel like with every page I am reading in “Free Yourself to Love: The Liberating Power of Forgiveness” that my own heart is being convicted of things I need to change. Praying before I read helps to keep my heart in check instead of wanting to judge others as I read. I hope you do the same as I share from scripture and Jackie’s words of wisdom, that you look at yourself instead of others.

“Few of us realize just how much we’ve been forgiven, and that is likely why we are not as forgiving as Jesus desires us to be.” “Too many people wait for someone to earn forgiveness, but that’s not forgiveness–that’s a wage, not a gift.” (pg. 67)

If we really look at our lives and the extent that we have hurt Christ with being self righteous, selfish, not thinking before we act or speak, etc. we should be very humbled when someone offends us or hurts us. I know I am guilty of wanting justice when I have been wronged. Proverbs 3:12 tells us though, “For the Lord corrects those he loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights.” Wow. I have a lot of correcting that needs to be done so I can freely forgive others as Christ has forgiven me.

“Remember, forgiveness is an issue of obedience, not of following your feelings. And faith alone can move you toward obedience in spite of whatever feelings you have.” “…Those you have not forgiven are controlling you right now; they are the ones who are on the throne of your life, not Jesus.” (pg. 71)

Most of my life has been ruled by my feelings. They’re always present and usually stronger than anything else going on in my life, especially now with my pregnancy. I have to work hard at keeping my feelings in check and not make decisions based on my feelings. If I pause and go to God with a situation instead of acting on my feelings, things turn out much better.

Psalm 22:19 “O Lord, do not stay far away! You are my strength; come quickly to my aid!”

Here’s an old blog I’ve had written up for a while. I’m hoping to crank out a few right now while I relax at the church while Tim is hanging out with some youth. It’s nice to have some random blogs I can use whenever I’m tight on time.

Ephesians 4:25-27

²⁵ So stop telling lies. Let us tell our neighbors the truth, for we are all parts of the same body. ²⁶ And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, ²⁷ for anger gives a foothold to the devil. (NLT)

I am glad that God taught me an important lesson before I became a pastor’s wife. I have to be careful what I say to others, and I had to learn what I can and can’t share with others. When it comes to frustrations in ministry I cannot go and talk to others about it. Most of the time I am okay with that, but when something big happens I really want someone to talk to. In the heat of the moment though I know that my anger/frustrations can easily turn into gossip, so that is one reason why I am thankful for the position I am in, keeping me away from sinning with gossip.

I feel burdened at times because of having to keep to myself with some things. And I don’t want to wear Tim out at home by talking about things with him that he has had to deal with all day…so what do I do? I turn that burden I am feeling into a blessing. The one I can always go to when I need someone to talk to is the one who can help me more than anyone, God. I want to be a supportive wife to stand beside Tim as he works in youth ministry, but that does not require me to discuss ministry at home all the time, to know everything going on, which I appreciate. I am learning that the best way I can support him is to go to God first and foremost. In order to hold Tim up I have to go to God to hold me up. So even though at times I feel like I have no one to turn to, to help me handle situations, it’s really a blessing. It forces me to go to the one who will always be here for me and never disappoint me. I can pour my heart out to God and be renewed by his love.

Tim and I had a wonderful weekend for the 4th. David called Tim Thursday night to come up and spend the weekend with us, which was great ’cause we didn’t have any plans, and everything ended up falling in place. We had Dan, David, Adrienne and all the kids up at our house.

Everyone came up Friday afternoon and we were able to get one of our youth leaders on our lake to take us all out on the boat for the kids to ride and the boys to wake board and wake surf. I’m sure someone will be making a video of it soon. Then Saturday we took the kids swimming twice on our lake. I think we have the perfect swimming area with no drop off until almost the middle of the lake, so the kids have lots of space to play. And we ended the weekend Saturday evening with cooking hotdogs, s’mores and mountain pies over a firepit on the edge of the lake. And Tim and Dan ate their first Cheeto since I found some all nautral ones at the store.

It was fun watching Noah and Titus interact with each other, actually have conversations with their limited vocabulary. Ruby had tons of fun out in the water. She’s quite the outdoorsy girl with lots of energy. And little Addison has grown up fast. She’s already 2 months old and will focus in on you and react to you, which is really fun. That made me more excited for Baby Schmoyer to come join us. S/He only has 4 weeks and 4 days until the due date, or longer if s/he decides it’s not time yet.