28 May 2009 My Hardest Part of being a Youth Pastor’s Wife
 |  Category: marriage, ministry

prayingI admire Tim so much for his ministry and how well he works with and deals with people. He has way more grace and patience than I do, and it is very good for me to see. I am so glad that he is the youth pastor, and I am not.

The part that I struggle with the most is when people criticize Tim’s ministry, and him personally. I keep up with Tim’s blog off and on. I am interested in youth ministry and try to be as supportive as I can, and keeping up with his blog helps me do that. I struggle though when I see people disagree with him in a harsh manner. The last week there have been people jumping to conclusions about him and his ministry without reading or re-reading his posts, and Tim handles these people so well, but I don’t. So I guess that is part of the reason why I go in seasons of being a dedicated reader of Life in Student Ministry and seasons of not visiting it at all.

Yesterday I think was the hardest for me with someone going as far as twisting the title of one of his posts and totally attacking Tim personally as far as jumping to the conclusion that Tim doesn’t spend any time praying or in the Word except during the summer. As rediculous as I know this person was being, it is still hard to not want to be over protective and emotional about it. I was steamed when reading this person’s post that he put out on facebook to totally bash Tim. I really wanted to lash out on him and give it all back. Luckily I’ve been dealing with people online since Jr. High and have learned to think about things before I start typing, and then even after typing up a response to let it sit for a while, come back to it, look it over, and then my last step is to send my responses to Tim to look over for another means of accountability. I use Microsoft Word a lot when online so I don’t make the mistake to send something before really reviewing it if I am not in a good mood while writing.

A great thing that has come from this post yesterday though was tons of people sticking up for and encouraging Tim and correcting the person who bashed him. Tim responded kindly to the guy and even gave him a phone number for him to call Tim and them to discuss if this guy really wanted to learn and not just start a heated argument. I’m still waiting for the guy to call. What was cool though was that a couple other people called Tim to encourage him with what he is doing and show appreciation for the way he responded to the nonsense.

I haven’t dealt with such harsh criticism as much in person with people. Criticism does come, but most of the time in love, especially if someone does it the right way and goes to Tim about something instead of talking to everyone else about what they are unhappy with, which is the same as gossiping. Another reason why I deal with this better than blatant criticism done infront of everyone is because Tim is great about protecting me. He knows that I will take things personally, and have a hard time around the person if I know who it is, so he will keep me out of the loop, which I really appreciate. It is still difficult for me to hear about people upset with something he has done or said, especially if time hasn’t been taken to talk to Tim personally. We have a long journey ahead of us, and I’m glad God will continue to teach us. I can just imagine what kind of criticism we’ll get when Baby Schmoyer is born and people are watching the way we’ll choose to raise our kid, especially when he/she is a teen.

Tim, you are doing an amazing job with the youth God has trusted you with. I love watching you in action and admire you for the passion you have for youth ministry. I am so proud to be your wife and blessed to have such an amazing husband to watch as an example for my own life. I love you.

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3 Responses

  1. I love you, too, my cute preggo wife! 🙂

  2. 2

    I feel like I get weird looks from people when I say that I really enjoy reading youth pastor blogs. Being a teen in youth group, I can sorta understand why they might think I’m weird and don’t really get why I like reading them. It’s hard to explain I always say.

    I found Tim’s blog off of my old youth pastor’s blog. Since my old youth pastors have moved, we haven’t gotten another really youth pastor. Well, we have a youth leader in training, but the problem we have with him is that all the older kids like me grew up with him, so we have a hard time respecting him.

    I guess the reason I read youth pastor’s blogs like Tim’s is to get good ideas for youth group. I know there have been a few times when I found some interesting games to try with my youth group on Tim’s blog.

    It’s kinda hard growing up through youth group without a solid youth pastor. My church has gone through so many while I’ve been there and usually they’re all interns, so they don’t stay for long usually. My church is only about 13 years old, so we’re still rather small and we just paid off our short term debt back in August, so we won’t have a youth pastor who stays for a while.

    Reading your blog and Tim’s blog, I feel like I have youth pastors sometimes. I really just enjoy reading these blogs. Thank you so much.

  3. Chelsea,
    I think it’s awesome that you read youth pastor’s blogs. That shows how much you care for your own youth group and are willing to step up and do what you can to help. I had 5 different youth directors when I was in youth group from 6th-12th grade. Sadly it’s hard to find someone to step in and stay the youth pastor at a church for a while, and those that will stay for the long haul are already plugged in and staying at a different church.
    I’m glad that you feel like you have a youth pastor at times by reading mine and Tim’s blogs. That is really touching to read!