04 Mar 2009 God’s Reassurement
 |  Category: ministry, Random Thoughts

17 weeks prego

I absolutely loved this past weekend getting to network with other youth workers. I got to meet 2 amazing women who we keep up with each other through our blogs and some amazing men that Tim has connections with through his blog. There were tons of other people we got to connect with and it was totally natural. I realized afterwards that I was totally myself and I didn’t hold back anything.

There are way too many times where I close myself off and not let my true personality come out. I do this because I am afraid of what people will think of me and that I would scare someone off. What I realized this past weekend though, is when I let myself be who I truly am I like myself a lot more and have way more fun. I know what situations I don’t let myself be myself, and it usually surprises me when I do let go and be myself. There are different groups around the church that I hold back, and I also hold back around Tim’s side of the family. I wish I didn’t, and I don’t know how to kick myself out of my shell I close myself into, but I want to learn how. I shared the other week in our Sr. High Monday night C-Group about this and added, “I know I can be a really fun person!” And this weekend proved it to me. Not once did I question how people would see me, and I got the biggest compliment which is what made me realize that I was being myself all weekend long. Now how do I do this all life long?

With my mind whirling of what kind of impact can I make in our church now that I am back and had amazing training I already contacted a few Moms of teens in the church and got an affirmation from God through one of the Moms that my heart is really in this, and with God’s help amazing things will happen. I think a big part of letting God work through me is to be open and let him work through me, the true me, not the me that holds back because of fear of what others think of me. I know God is totally in love with me and he loves the way he made me. I need to feed off of God’s love for me and embrace the way he made me so others can see Christ’s love through me.

After this weekend I am realizing God’s love for me again and how he loves the way he made me. In a way I am starting a new journey with looking only to God for my reassurement and not earthly reassurement. God pretty much knocked me aside the head to remind me that he made me for a purpose and I can’t hold it in anymore. And I am glad he used the people I met this past weekend to help me realize that.

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5 Responses

  1. So fun to meet you! I know what you mean about being able to truly be yourself this past weekend. I felt that too. I don’t think I’ve ever been around so many like minded people at once and the whole attitude from the top down was one of friendship, it was great! Too bad we missed each other in the airport, don’t know that I would have been that fun anyway as I was sleeping on the floor. 🙂

    I’m interested to hear your thoughts a little more about this conference verse the “other” big one after having gone through the whole thing.

    That confirmation God gave you is awesome. I was struggling with thinking, God I KNOW you want me to work with parents in the church, and there is so much I want to do, but I am afraid to just dive in and totally loose balance. It was not 5 minutes later a girl who texts me maybe once a month started texting me asking when I was coming back. Wow God.

  2. Totally awesome timing on your confirmation too! It was great to get to connect with you in person. Jenny seemed really sweet too. How was the airport floor? Were you able to sleep much? It was so nice to come home and sleep in our own bed after the weekend, didn’t realize how much I love our bed!
    It’s been a couple years since I went to the other convention. I enjoyed going to it, after attending 3 years in a row I felt like I wasn’t really getting anything new. I’m curious to see if that happens with Simply or not. I liked the set up for the different sessions better with Simply with the tables to sit at instead of rows, which doesn’t really spark conversations. I also liked the choice to do a deeper learning track. I wasn’t impressed with the General sessions with Simply, I skipped out on a couple of them ’cause I wanted to visit with people instead. I think they’re both great, I wanted a change though from what I had, and wanted to see how Simply did their conference.
    Have you gone to the other one? If so what’d you think?

  3. The floor was hard . . . totally missed my bed too!
    I haven’t been to the other conference so I can’t compare, that’s why I was so interested to see what you thought. There is this huge summer camp (20,000 kids in the summer) that we’ve been going to their youth pastors conference and they are so totally different it’s hard to compare, but something that stuck out to me with Simply was that it was nice to have it put on by people who are actually in youth ministry and that all the speakers really made themselves accessible and encouraged conversations with them.

  4. Yeah, I totally agree that the speakers made themselves completely available to everyone. I felt at ease to go up to them and ask questions. At the other conference I didn’t feel at ease to go up to the speakers, even though they were mainly some of the same speakers at each. I think it was just the atmosphere that Simply created.

  5. 5
    G'ma B 

    I learned something one time at a ministers’ conference when I was around your age..
    the speaker said when you don’t like yourself, or complain about yourself.. you are really complaining to GOD Who made you. He knew what He was doing.. and made you to be just what He wanted !! so it’s fun when you can relax and be yourself, and know God loves you so much.. and ‘didn’t make no junk’ and when HE loves you and is proud of you… that is enough !!
    they say you can’t love others or let others love you until you really love yourself and accept yourself !! Quite an order .. eh?
    Then we can forget about ourselves and center our attention on those around us who need our encouragement, joy,and love.. It’s just ‘catching’.

    Another thing I learned as a pastor’s wife was to consecrate to make mistakes, if that’s what it took to help people see they can succeed, and everyone makes mistakes sometimes.. so it makes it easier to accept yourself, pick yourself up, and say “I’m sorry” and march right ahead !! It’s easy to get a ‘perfection complex’, and can’t forgive ourselves.. God loves me in any shape I’m in !! 🙂