12 Feb 2006 My Most Important Lesson
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I think my number one lesson I will learn this semester is how to be strong and how to be confident in myself. I have always been my number one doubter. Growing up everyone else always had more confidence in me than I did. And once again this doubt has set in. A couple times this semester I have thought about giving up on teaching because it is hard. But I know that God is setting my path out clear for me. He has helped me out so much through the years and has given me a passion for kids. I could so easily be a secretary and work in an office for the rest of my life, but that is not what I am passionate about. I know that God can use me in wondrous ways in the classroom, creating a safe place for my students to come to every day.

Last Wednesday I met with the principal and assistant principal and the number one thing I took with me from that meeting is that I need to be confident in my abilities. I could be the best teacher ever, but if someone else comes along and is more confident in their abilities and let them be known, then they would be hired over me because I do not give myself the credit I deserve. I’m not trying to be humble with my teaching skills, I doubt myself.

I am so scared of this week. I tried to hold back my tears and sniffling while I called my teacher tonight, trying to be confident in myself, but I couldn’t. I know that when tomorrow is over and the students have gone home I will be happy because I will had made it through the day and it will be good. So why can’t I have that confidence now? I know it will be a good day tomorrow and that there is no reason to worry, but right now I don’t truly believe that.

I have breezed through my education classes without a struggle with everything coming to me as common sense, natural. The teachers at my school that I have gotten to know better than others have already told me that they are impressed with how well I am doing and they are pushing for me to get a job at my school. That is the biggest compliment I could ask for. And the school I am at right now is the ideal school for me to start teaching. God willing I will be there in the Fall with my very own classroom. I already know of one position that will be open for them looking for a teacher. We’ll see what God’s will is for me.

It takes a strong person to be a teacher. I know I can be that person. This is just another lesson that God is teaching me, and it will probably take all semester for it to really sink in.

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2 Responses

  1. 1

    Fear and insecurity. We’ve been here before.

    You’ll do fine. Relax and have fun with teaching. You’re doing great!

  2. 2

    I think you are doing a wonderful job (and I oughta know…she is teaching in my classroom)! The kids love you, you have their best interest in everything you do, and you get better every day! Keep the faith…
    :)Jeanne M.